yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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