i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Your penis caused this!
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