i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
