Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
