Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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