How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
