The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
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She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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