It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize