I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize