hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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