my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
