i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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