I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
