we have officially lost it.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
