Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
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