I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
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you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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