If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
