I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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