Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
