You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
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So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
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