I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?