She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
pop tarts are not kleenex
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.