used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
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You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
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Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?