Dude my mom stole all your condoms
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
