He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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