I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize