I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Randomize