She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
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Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
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So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
COCAINE IS GR8
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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