Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
