I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
