Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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