i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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