I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize