sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
