I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
