we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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