just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
