Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
