Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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