At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I smell stomach acid.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
