He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
