I'm being pulled over???
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.