We won't sleep together?
We're facebook friends in real life
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".