She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.