You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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