And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
