What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
