OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
