Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
