I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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