You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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