As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Small penises have feelings too.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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