On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
