Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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