is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
