Christians are straight up FREAKS
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
