I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
so let's talk penis.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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