why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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