Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
