You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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