If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
im holly from the hills drunk
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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