So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
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Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
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He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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