I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
