im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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