pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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