That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
